I’ve contemplated writing a blog for a long time, like a long time.
I have 15+ years’ worth of “explore later” and “possible book/blog post” notes. Notes by the bedside. Scribbles on the McDonald’s receipt. I can’t tell you how many notebooks I’ve got scattered on my, get this: writing desk. Ha! I am surrounded by half thought-out ideas that I never return to explore. I always seem to get sandwiched between two primary excuses: “I don’t have the time to write anything worth reading” and “What could I write about that hasn’t already been written?”
How is it I made it past the excuses this time, you ask? I did a thing I love to do…analyze. I love to analyze. The how’s and the why’s we do what we do, and in this case, the how and why I wasn’t writing. I took those two excuses I just told you about, and I analyzed the hell out of them. I broke them down. Looked at what was tangled up in them.
Here is what I found: fear.
Fear that no matter how much time I put into my writing it wouldn’t be good enough. Fear that whatever I chose to write about had already been written. Fear that I would start and then not finish and as opposed to my “explore later” notes for my eyes only, I’d have an audience. When I sifted all those fears down even further this is what was really scaring me: “What will people think?” You know that one, right? We’ve all met that fear a time or two. Worrying about what people think is really a mask for “Am I good enough and am I worthy.” One of the most influential writers and researchers for me both personally and professionally is Brené Brown. In her book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Parent, and Lead she writes, “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” Damnit.
I had a decision to make. Was I going to go another 15+ years sandwiched in fear of what people would think? Or was I going to gather my notes and my courage and my coffee in order to show up and be seen? If you’re reading this, you know the answer.
Welcome to the In Courage Counseling Blog.